This is a very loved photograph – or copy of a copy of a photograph. What makes this photo so special is that this is the only family portrait I know of of Gram’s family. That is my Great-Grandmother Catherine, my Great-Grandfather John, Gram – the girl who is standing with the big eyes – and Aunt Fran – who you can tell by looking at her had a mischievious streak. Gram was a serious child she told me – and you see that in this picture.
I love this picture – and mine was missing and I have been really upset about it. But tonight, while looking for some pictures I had taken of Chip, I found the bag of photographs that Mom had lent to our cousin Lynn that we just picked up in December. Most of the pictures were of Lynn’s family – which were Grampa’s side of the family – so I did not expect to find many of Gram but I went through them anyway – and there was my picture – still in the photo album page I kept it in. I was so excited I ran to my camera and snapped this picture and started writing.
It is her eyes. Gram had these deep and very soulful eyes for a young girl. I think she was beautiful. I wish she had more things so that she could have dressed pretty and shone like the beauty she was. Even though she did not smile in this picture, I see more depth and intensity in her eyes here than I see in later pictures, which breaks my heart. She should have had more.
The other picture that I love – and look at every day as it sits on my desk – is Gram’s wedding picture.
Gram was a year older than Grampa and back then you could not get married before you turned 21 unless you got your parents permission. Well, his parents did not say yes, so they had to wait. My Grandfather turned 21 on May 1st, 1937. They were married at City Hall, wearing their best clothes, on May 2nd, 1937. My Uncle Herm – who is really my Grandfather’s cousin – was his best man. I love how dapper he looked. Flo was my Gram’s best friend and she stood up for her. Grampa was 21, Gram was 22. They were just kids.
I look at them every day and get a little misty each time. I don’t know if anyone realizes how much I miss her. I still talk to her every day – though now I talk to her picture. There are still times when something happens and I think “Oh, I’ve got to call Gram and tell her” and then remember I can’t – she’s gone. I will get an ice cream cone at Kurver Ice Cream – something we used to do together as a treat – and I will drive down the street to the cemetery and sit at her grave and chat with her while I eat it. It feels like we are still sharing it. I tell her I know she’s not there – that I know she’s moved onto the next phase – and I am happy because I would never want her to be alone and cold – but if its okay, I’m going to talk to you here anyway. When my cone is gone I say good-bye and drive home or run to a store and try not to think about what a huge void her leaving left in my life.
Maybe that’s why we got the boys. Maybe Gram knew I would be too sad if I did not have so many things that needed my attention and focus and shooed them in my direction. Never know. Could be.
So on to my mini-accomplishment for the day. I am 4 rows from finishing the gusset of this sock. Unfortunately with this yarn you can’t really see it but its my first gusset so it was worth a picture. Gram would have been proud.