Or as much as it can be.
2012 was about Minurism – minimal consumerism – and we did pretty well with it. I did not buy any new yarn until December and then only that yarn necessary to make Xmas presents that needed yarns I did not have – Cindy’s hat which had to match the scarf I made her last year, and the colors I needed for Chris’s Star Wars Hat. We cut way back on eating out – though there were the few important occasions that still warranted a trek to our favorite mexican restaurant. I even managed to pay off a bill early that had been hanging over my head for a couple of years. We did splurge on a new light for the livingroom and I did go a little crazy buying rovings at the NYS Sheep and Wool Festival in October (more on that later), but overall we cut way back on our spending and made alot more of our gifts and things we needed.
But each new year brings the thought of what can I do for this year that I was not able to do before. I spent alot of time thinking about this because the list is kinda long – but I kept getting back to the thought that I was losing part of myself in this long process – that all this focus on the kids and the bills and providing for others was resulting in a shell of a Shel. Does that make sense?
See, when it was just Chris and I, there was time to spend in reflection. Time to spend reading the writings Joseph Campbell, to ponder my place on the Tarot path and to balance a spiritual and earth centered life with our family life. Chris and I were a team – we grew together and worked at a mutual pace.
When Chip entered my life, as Chris was going off into his own life, the flow was still there. But there was a certain jarring of the flow when we became parents suddenly – and I found myself at a much older age re-entering the busy life of parents of elementary school children – and this time with 3 of them and no family nearby to fall back upon. As I changed my life to meet those challenges and hectic schedules and greater stresses and increased financial needs, I let go of those basic parts of me that I no longer had time to nurture.
As we gained more of a rhythm with the new family, parts of it came back in. Truly, Ravelry and my sister’s entry into the craft world and then my re-entry into the craft world brought me back to a more centered place. It made me slow down the pace while I took care of basic needs – like making things to keep my family warm and fed. Moving into the world of natural dyes reconnected me to the earth based spirituality which is my center as it is the essence of druidry – bringing forth into manifestation something of artistic beauty from the spirit – here the spirit of the earth.
But I am getting older. Now I see my grandmother in my face when I look in the mirror. And I worry. I have to be around alot longer to raise this young family I have – and I don’t feel healthy – not like I did when I was raising Chris.
So 2013 is all about me.
I am going to focus on my diet. I need to lose 20 pounds to be able to wear the clothes that I wore through much of my life. I am not obese, but I am overweight for my bodyframe. I need to take control of my diet – to eat more vegetarian meals and to focus on vegetables and proteins over carbs. I am hoping to show some of that in the Food on Friday posts. I also plan on spending alot more time on Amanda’s Happy Hearth blog making more and more of her wonderful recipes this year.
I am going to focus on my health. Chip has come on board as my personal trainer and I have agreed that I will do whatever he tells me I have to do to get healthier in terms of an exercise program. We are starting out slow. 20 minutes on the elliptical to get my cardio going. I hate that I am so out of breath lately when I used to hike mountains when we met. Maybe we can work in some hikes by the summer.
I am going to focus on my center. I have been caught in the test which is the Wheel of Fortune Card in the Tarot Path for awhile now. I need to move on to the point of balance which is the Justice Card. That card is also obviously grounded in my work – which will also need attention this year as I look for new work opportunities. A depressed economy brings more people to seek work in my field, and that means less work for all of us individually.
In some ways this feels very narcissitic of me to do this – but I know that I need to be whole and healthy for me to be able to be there completely for my family. A healthier me will be able to do more with them and to provide more for them.
So folks, you are all coming along with me as this blog is, and has been, my way of motivating me to stay on task, to meet my goals and to celebrate the little triumphs in life. I want to get back to regular posts in all those areas that make this blog about a family life – not just a knitting blog or a food blog. It probably hurts the blog in the long run – knitting folks don’t necessarily care about my Food on Fridays posts, and vice versa, but Gram didn’t just teach me about knitting. She taught me about how to live a life.
And for 2013, I am going to get healthy enough to enjoy mine.
Lets hope I do as well with this as we did with minurism.